The Importance of Mothers in the Secret Life of Bees Task 4

A Jewish adage says that God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers. Already from birth children connects with their mother in an own special way. Their bond is almost unbreakable, even tough they might grow up to be different people – the relationship between a mother and a child is something special. Being a mother is a fulltime job with more tasks than any other job; being a psychologist, carpenter, chef, mediator, a cleaner and most importantly a moral support is one of the most important jobs on earth. The fundamental values and morals are being built with the help form a mother. An Arabic adage says that the mother is a school, if she is well reread you are sure to build a nation. A mother is the biggest and most important role model in a Childs life trough out the life.

Lilly is haunted by the fact she is responsible for the killing of her mother. The loss, conscience and emptiness she feels is unbearable throughout the book. However, the book sends mixed signals whether Lilly is responsible for the murder or not. The episode happened when Lilly was four years old, and her memory back to the fateful day is rather dizzy. All she can remember is that her mother and father had a fight, and Deborah (Lilly’s mother) was packing her bags. A gun was lying on the floor, and suddenly a horrible sound went of. This is the official story that neighbors and the citizens of the small town of Sylvan in South Carolina have been told, including Lilly. Deep inside Lilly desperately hopes that this is not the case. Her father T-Ray has never given Lilly the love, compassion or support she needed. Lilly is trying the best she can to please her father, but nothing seems to win him over. Lilly is deeply unhappy with her living condition.

However, during the book we meet especially two important women that give Lilly the love and support she needs. Lilly feels unwanted both by her father and by the people of Sylvan –especially by the girls at her age. After Deborah’s death Rosaleen takes over as Lilly’s stand in mother. Rosaleen is a proud and scarp Afro-American woman. Lilly was eight when she realized Rosaleen cared and loved her. They had been too a marked and Rosaleen bought an Easter-dyed biddy to Lilly. T-Ray did not approve the gift, but Rosaleen could not care less. Rosaleen told T-Ray “There is worse things in this house than chicken shit” – “You ain’t touching that chick”. T-Ray backed down, and let Lilly keep the gift. Not only had Rosaleen stood up for Lilly, but she also bought her a gift – T-Ray had never bought her anything.

Rosaleen and Lilly’s relationship in the book is characterized with love, jealousy, misunderstandings and basic differences. Rosaleen is a scarp woman who stands up for her rights and herself. For instance the time Lilly and Rosaleen was heading into town, because Rosaleen was registering to vote after the civil rights act. On the news they are warning Afro-Americans from going into town, because several people had been killed for registering. On the way to town, they meet a group of the wrong kinds of men, racists. Rosaleen refused to back down and eventually ends up being abused and put into jail. Lilly could not understand why Rosaleen refused to back down or why she would go into town after the warnings on the television. Lilly does not understand why, because she would back down herself. When girls at her school called her names or talked bad to her, she would not stand up for herself. However, she would most likely not find herself in that kind of a situation because she would not dear. These are a few of the differences between Lilly and Rosaleen, but they still love each other like a mother and a daughter would, regardless of their faults and mistakes. Their love is unconditional.

After Lilly helps Rosaleen out of jail, they escape to Tiburon South Carolina. Lilly’s emptiness after her mothers loss is the reason. In her own private box, were she has a few belongings after her mother – she has a picture of a black Mary, written Tiburon S.C on the back. However, this is only one of the reasons that brings Lilly and Rosaleen to Tiburon in South Carolina. They soon find the people behind the black Mary photo; May, June and August and August is the person being the black Mary. They ask the sisters if they can stay for a while, because they are passing threw to Virginia. They are allowed to stay and work.

Lilly’s other mother figure in the book is in my opinion August. August makes Lilly feel safe, but also loved, accepted and also a peace in mind. August shows Lilly trust for the first time in her life. Lilly and Rosaleen lied when they asked to stay with the sisters. Lilly told them that both her father and mother were dead (Rosaleen was their maid), and that they only needed a place to stay for few days. Both June and August knew this was a lie, but they still let them stay. June behaved differently towards Lilly than August. June does not trust her, while August does. August believes that Lilly will tell her the truth when she is ready herself to it. Lilly has never experienced this kind of trust and love before. Even from Rosaleen, Lilly is still meet with some criticism and disbelief. The relationship between Lilly and August is influenced by unconditional love.

August and Rosaleen is however to very different people. Rosaleen does not believe in the goodness in people, in my impression. Rosaleen has probably had a tough life with discrimination and experienced harsh life lessons; within trust, love and sorrow. While August on the other side, believes in the benefit of the doubt. Personally I think August has experienced a tough life as well, but handles her disappointments differently. August still gives people a second chance, something Rosaleen does not in my opinion. For instance, in the way Rosaleen treats T-Ray, although maybe August would treat him the same after years of disappointment.

One of the questions I had in the beginning of the book was; will Lilly ever heal after the loss of her mother? And yes, I think she will! To run away from T-Ray was the best thing Lilly ever did for herself in my opinion. Although I fear she might have too many expectations about finding more about her mother, the trip to Tiburon S.C will never be something Lilly will regret I believe. I think Lilly learned that she actually matters, and that people care about her in a way she never expected. She is about to be completed as a person. Soon, she will not accept people taking badly to her, or her father’s sarcasm. Her confidence is growing. What a beautiful story.